Ground Rules & Guidelines For Dialogue

amccune — Tue, 23 Jul 2019 22:22:55 +0000

Below are Community Dialogue’s Ground rules and Guidelines to the Dialogue process. These principles are intended to help us all communicate safely and effectively, ensuring we both feel heard and hear others.

Our Ground rules not only underline the Dialogue practice, but can enhance our interactions in day to day life, whether at home, in the workplace or elsewhere.

Ground rules

Treat what you hear in confidence.
Others have the right to believe and feel differently from you.
Others have the right to express their beliefs.
You do not have to respect beliefs that are wrong to you.
Treat others with the respect you expect yourself.
When others share do not interrupt, show respect and wait until they finish.
Do not represent the views of a wider group, share your own views.
Do not pressurise anyone into speaking.
All participants’ views and ideas have value.

Guidance

Dialogue is a two-way process; it involves balancing deep listening and open honest sharing.
Everyone is encouraged to speak.
Risk trusting other people with your feelings and experience.
Share what feels comfortable for you – don’t go beyond that.
You do not need a clear position or to be an expert; it is okay to be confused or to change your mind.
People who listen more than they speak often have more of value to share.
Try to be present for the full process as absence can have a negative impact.
If you feel uncomfortable, you may need to take time out, but let the facilitator know.
Take care to listen well.
Feel free to ask if you don’t understand.
Dialogue is not about agreement it is about deepening understanding.
Question what you hear and what you think.
Keep an open mind.
Help and support each other throughout the process.
The facilitator is there to support you.

How Dialogue Works

Billy Wardrop — Wed, 23 Sep 2020 10:35:14 +0000

People often fall-out over issues they don’t agree on. Consensus Building Dialogue is simply a way of having those conversations without arguing and with a good chance of reaching agreement.

Dialogue is a different and a more effective way of having conversations or discussions about contentious issues.

It is an unfolding process of transforming and deepening understanding of others and ourselves through listening, sharing and questioning.

For most people it is a new experience to disagree with others but still to be heard and accepted and not to be argued with or disapproved. It takes courage for people to get to the point of finding this out.

Dialogue Is…

1. A Flow Of Meaning
‘Dialogue’ comes from the Greek word dialogos.

Logos means ‘the word’.
Dia means ‘through’.

Dialogue, therefore, suggests a stream of meaning which flows among, through and between us, and out of which may emerge some new understanding. As such it is an ongoing process rather than an end result in and of itself.

2. A Tool for Conflict

Conflict in itself is neither good nor bad, it is a natural, necessary, and inevitable consequence of life.

It is how we use conflict that renders it good or bad, creative or destructive.

This is where dialogue comes in as a tool which we can use to mould conflict into a creative, positive and productive process.

It does so by deepening our understanding of the positions of others and ourselves and of the conflicts between others and ourselves.

3. A Different Way Of Talking

Dialogue is a process involving active listening as well as talking. It implies accepting and respecting the views of others and trying to understand where they are coming from. Diversity and division are openly addressed in this process.

Dialogue deepens understanding of our own, and each other’s positions, often leading to shared understanding and an enhancement of our ability to make informed decisions.

It does this by shifting the focus from the stated positions that we so often argue over to the needs which underlie them (which are often shared).

The process may:

Lead to trust, respect and the building of a shared future in which we all belong.

Or:

Clarify our disagreement and our need to follow separate paths to separate futures.

Dialogue Is Not…

Arbitration
Negotiation
Mediation
Problem solving
Debate
Finding the answer
Avoidance of issues
Denial of issues
Proving your point
Proving them wrong
Winning an argument
Reaching agreement

This is not to say that on some occasions there may not be outcomes such as agreement or the emergence of new ideas for resolving old problems. But it is important to understand that these are neither pre-planned nor even necessary as part of a successful dialogue process.

Question, Question, Question…

Dialogue aims to transform understanding of issues through open, honest sharing and deep listening.

It does not aim to provide answers.
It does aim to leave people questioning.

One of the most important outcomes of a dialogue is not what answers the participants have arrived at but what questions they will leave with.

What We Ask…

In our dialogues we ask people to:

Question their own positions and look at the needs underlying them.
Question the positions of others and look at the needs underlying them.
Explore how to meet those sometimes shared and sometimes conflicting underlying needs.

We encourage a re-examination of stated positions, based on the assumption that we all want something different and we are all unlikely to get what we want.

We Also Ask:

What do you want?
What do you really need and why do you need it?
What could you live with, given that the needs and hopes of others may differ from yours?

Consensus Building Dialogue – Community Dialogue